One of Those Days
by JustARandom51
Summary: I wake to up to one of those days where everything sucks, but it's more problematic since I wake up to a spaceship instead of my room, and that's the tip of the iceberg for me as I encounter a Mafia, 2 possible psychopathic girls, bird directors, a Snatcher of souls, and mountain goats. SI
1. The Start

**Welcome to the rewrite! You'll see the changes that I made very quickly as you start reading, but I hope these are changes you will enjoy. See you in the end!**

 **Beta'd by CeleneTheAngel**

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A scrawny teen with a plain blue hoodless sweater and gray pants was walking his way home to relax for the weekend, probably watch videos, complain about that particularly terrible story that still managed to draw him in.

That teen's name was Jr. He didn't really have an extraordinary life. Jr. preferred to have a simpler existence, resorting to a more carefree style. He wasn't popular, smart, handsome, definitely not tough, he was just simple. He didn't mind, though. He was just a little bummed by how everyone had those little talents that made them their own selves. Jr. didn't have much on the plate that made him pop out. Just a small person in the crowd, a price that he was willing to pay for his lifestyle.

When he got home, he unceremoniously began to scour the internet for anything to keep his mind off of school for a bit.

"Maybe I should look at some art." Jr. then scrolled his mouse to an open tab of Deviantart, something that he soon regretted.

"Oh, damn. Look at those artists. They can actually draw." Jr. said, passing through each beautifully painted canvas', highly rendered 3D models and muse inspired drawings. The most he had ever done was draw a good eye. Just an eye. Jr. swiftly closed the tab and replaced it with a new site.

"Okay, so maybe not Deviantart today. Let's see if anyone has reviewed my Fanpress story instead." He soon regretted that as well when faced with spam and heavy critique. The nightmare of every writer. Jr. closed the tab right after reading a review that ended with a particular racial slur.

"Fairpoint, internet." He guessed that it was just going to be one of those days. The day when the world wants him to reevaluate all the life choices he's made even though he hadn't even been to college yet. Jr. glanced at the still docked Nintendo Switch to his side.

"How about a good ole' round of Mario Odyssey. That always gets me up from these little sad moments." Jr. began to undock the Switch, only then to turn back to the closed laptop.

"Or maybe…." He opened back up the laptop to open up Steam and soon a little indie game known as A Hat in Time. He downloaded the game earlier, but he never got the chance to play the game for whatever reason be. Sure, he may have spoiled half the game on Youtube, but Jr. was a man for the experience of the game instead of the surprise.

The teen was met with the menu of the game, filled with all the different characters of the game as they orbited around the nearby planet filled with color. He began to play the game. He knew what happened to a dime. Hat Kid woke up from her bed, Jr. got a feel on the gameplay, went on to see the space Mafia…. He still didn't understand the science in that.

Shortly after the Mafia goon broke down the window for refusing to pay 'the Mafia's toll.' Hat Kid flew out the ship, that sorry excuse of a safe opened up, no timepiece was safe from the vacuum of space as they flew out the spaceship and flew out to the planet. Hat Kid giving a resigned shrug of her shoulders was the last thing Jr. saw before he was met with an annoying notification of a dying battery.

"Great... Now I need to play on the floor." He was swift to grab the nearby charger, plugging the charger next to the Switch dock on the extension cord. Jr then followed the wire to the other end and plugged the laptop in. As soon as the wires made the connection, something unexplainable happened. The screen froze, then turned to a blinding white. It was easily seen that this shocked Jr. up to his core.

"No no no no no no no! Oh God please no!" No matter what he did, the screen remained white.

Jr. sighed heavily before saying "This means that I need to pay for this to be repaired. Great." The laptop suddenly began to spaz out in many different pixelated colors along with a continuous clicking sound. This terrified Jr. enough to set the laptop down and back away from it in fear that it would catch on fire. Then it stopped.

He hesitantly went to grab it again. "...So I'm just going to close this righ-" A grand flash of light overtook the small room. The teen had vanished without a trace. The only thing left was the laptop briefly showing the Switch logo before finally going dark.

* * *

I remembered opening my eyes after what felt was a long night's rest. Felt nice compared to most days. As I got up from the floor, I took a moment to remember everything that happened from before I passed out. There was school, walking home, Deviantart, and then the laptop. Oh God, the laptop. I turned to where I expected to see the probably blown-up laptop only to see a blue carpet. That doesn't sound like such a big deal, but I don't own a blue carpet. Too many possibilities of ruination.

The haziness in my eyes cleared up, and I really got a gander at where I was. I was in some kid's bedroom, judging by the bright yellow walls and how half the room was a mountain of pillows. It also looked a whole lot neater than what my room usually looked like. Even has a queen-sized bed with the cover on and everything. I feel that should be a whole lot more worried that I'm somewhere that I don't recognize.

Oh, wait. Here comes that anxiety, it was just morning grogginess delaying the inevitable.

I looked around to see if there were any clues to me being here. Maybe someone kidnapped me? If so, I'm flattered, but I don't think my family would be considered rich or powerful. Maybe this is a dream. I walk to the nearby chest next to the large bed and opened it up. The only thing I saw in the chest was the fact of how empty it was. There was a desk with tools, so maybe whoever lives here builds things?

That really doesn't help me at all. I should try to leave this room. Hope it isn't locked. It was apparent that all I had to do was walk in front of the doors for them to automatically open like a store entrance, just fancier.

"That's neat and expensive!" I said to myself as I walked through the dim purple hallway. Why is everything around here feel familiar?

My mind was blown away as I stopped dead in my tracks to see through one of several circular windows one of the last things that I would expect to see today: Space.

Now I understand why people say that some experiences can only be felt and not seen. There were stars littered about the dark canvas of the universe along with a planet floating nearby. I scratched the window, somewhat hoping that this was just some sort of poster like in the Simpson movie.

It wasn't. That was real. Why? How? This has to be a joke, please let it be a joke. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash come from the other side of the hall. Before I could go see what the sound was, the lights flickered before the hall turned dark. I felt my way to the other door only for it not to open as the other did. I guess I got to use my sheer strength to open this door now. Oh boy.

It took awhile, but I finally managed to budge the door open. It only took literally all of what I got in me…. I may have also popped something but besides that came out in one piece. I opened it and that's all that it matters.

I then went on the first phase on my new plan of action; go out and explore for more clues. I didn't say I was an expert on plans. It was hard to get around at all because of the blackout so I wasn't surprised that as getting out of the door I tripped on something.

I tried in vain to see what I tripped over, but so far, nothing. I began to walk again before once again tripping my way back to the floor. I soon heard something say the word " **INTRUDER!"** shortly after.

I looked once again what I tripped over, this time I was able to see the perpetrator. From what I could see through the darkness was a silhouette of a small cylinder with purple LED 'eyes'. Why would any machine need eyes, can't they just scan for stuff ahead of it? Probably overthinking that a tad bit.

 **"INTRUDER. INTRUDER!"** is what the silhouette shouts in a light robotic voice while I pick myself back up. Maybe this thing can help me. "Hey,... little fella? Can you tell me where I'm at? Don't think I'm supposed to be here." I ask hoping to get anything out of this admittedly cute machine.

 **"INTRUDER!, INTRUDER!"** It started to back up before it started to ram itself on my leg.

"Is that all that you can say?" I asked.

 **"INTRUDER, INTRUDER!"** It still kept ramming to my leg. I actually think it began to go faster.

"If you don't stop, I wil- "

 **"INTRUDER, INTRUDER!"** It just wouldn't let me speak!

"Okay. that's enough, little guy." I grabbed the disk, still shouting INTRUDER, and flipped it upside down since I couldn't find out a way to turn it off. It still continued to screech **"INTRUDER!"** but at least it's not making my ankle sore anymore. This got me some time to think…..well, the best I could think since I think the thing was actually getting louder.

"So let's retrace." My laptop fritzed out, I woke up somewhere I vaguely remember, I found out diddly squat on whoever may or may have not kidnapped me, and this person is rich enough to have automatic doors and whatever that thing that keeps shouting-" **"INTRUDER, INTRUDER!"** I heard the rumba shout, interrupting me. "...Oddly convenient timing. Where do I go from here?" The power came back abruptly, ruining my train of thought.

I caught a glimpse of the foot rammer, who was some sort of rumba from what I could tell. The rumba struggled to flip back right side up. I could now see what this room looked like, and with that, I could feel the blood from my face vanish.

The entire room was a marvel. It was very spacious, with a large purple rug on the ground and a ramp to my left. There were a series of machines with levers and a large screen against the back wall. The other wall was completely made of glass where a TV had blocked a portion of the cracked glass.

I didn't expect this, I knew what this place was! This was the spaceship from A Hat in Time! I wanted to see if this was just some sort of joke, it needed to be. I tried to open all the doors, but none of them would budge. Nononononono, this is definitely a dream, it just has to be! I'm just jumping to conclusions, I just got to. I ju- **THUMP.**

Something hit me hard on the back of the head, the force was enough to knock me to the floor. The last thing that I saw before I blacked out again was a glimpse of something short, purple and yellow. Guess that's one way to start off a weird day.

* * *

 **As you can see, I got rid of most of the bantering that kinda ruined the flow, but kept a little so that it didn't get annoying. And actual starting background info, unlike that trash start where Jr. just woke up in the ship.**

 **Hope to include an actual cover for this story when I upload the next revised chapter(s)!**

 **GaoGod: Yeah, that was a lesson that I had to learn the hard way, but I still enjoy reading any review! Still, the largest reason why I haven't given up this story in the summer and now in this rewrite!**

 **nico2411: Still nice to know some people are sticking to this even after all the random crap I made you guys put up with. I vow to never make a mistake this huge again, and thanks.**

 **Hope this is the start of something much better! Back to writing!**


	2. Meeting the Main Character

**Hey! Back at it with another chapter. Not a long one, but it's something!**

 **Beta'd by CeleneTheAngel**

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Chapter 1

 _My head hurts..._ That was the first thought I had after what I assumed to be my second time waking up today. Is it even the same day? Was that all just a dream? Questions for later.

I tried to get up but quickly realized that I was bound to my current position. I was apparently tied to a swivel chair with a colorful yet rough rope. This is setting off some warning bells at the moment.

I looked around to see the same large room with the glass wall, much to my dismay. Not much had really changed from last time I last saw it. The only difference being that two wooden planks had replaced that TV that was stuck on the glass wall. None of the stars or the planets really changed, only the angle was a little different.

I turned in a complete circle, both hoping and dreading to see the person that had tied me up to this surprisingly comfy chair. The entire room was barren of all life besides me, making a quiet and uncomfortable vibe around me. I had a good idea who had knocked me out earlier, but to honest, I hope I'm wrong.

I heard a humming that sounded much like a vacuum cleaner. I looked down to see the same rumba that considered me an 'intruder' and was flipped back right side up. Don't know how you could make something like a disk look angry, but that was what I was getting out of it.

"Hey, I'm sorry about flipping you over earlier. To be fair, you were the one that was tripping me over in the dark after all." The rumba's vacuum grew louder with that remark. May not have been the best thing to say...

 **"INTRUDER!"** The rumba then began to drive itself into my foot.

"Thought so." I sighed in disappointment. Can't blame it, it's just following its program.

The rumba suddenly stopped, where I could begin to hear faint footsteps approaching me. Okay, so I know there is someone here with me. I need to think about what I should do when I meet my captor. I could bargain my way to freedom, but I can see many ways of me botching that up.

No matter what, I have to remain composed. I can't show weakness, no matter how much I want to scream if who I think is coming out to meet me. As I heard one of the automatic doors open, I turned the swivel chair to face the person. It was a little girl, at the most ten at a first glance.

The Girl seemed to be a toddler, but that wasn't the weirdest part to me. She had an oddly designed parasol with bright yellow stars plastered all over, but that wasn't the strangest part. She had a simple purple coat and a yellow cape along with the largest keyhole dangling from her coat. It was everything that I was afraid I would see. It was Hat Kid. I felt a sense of relief that I finally saw who tied me up after so much waiting, but I still dread the implications that this all has.

There was no way I could've denied it no matter how I saw it. I was in a Hat in Time. I was in a video game… was I going to be stuck here now? If so, how long? I guess I should focus on the now at the moment.

I must have zoned out because of how Hat Kid decided to poke me with the tip of her parasol. Or was it an umbrella? I could never tell the difference between the two. But if I want to stay on this ship I may need to butter her up.

"I'm sorry if I accidentally broke into your spaceship. It's a funny story, really. My-" Shoot, I can't say that she's from a game. It could cause the universe to fold in half for all I know.

"My... teleporter malfunctioned and the next thing I know I'm here." Hat Kid then gave me the dead look of detecting some load of bullcrap.

"I'm telling the truth! I just remember me being home and then I… can't remember right now, but it'll come to me?" Hat Kid then gave me a typical eye roll and looked annoyed of all things. Strange how she looks so young but she acts like a teenager.

*Sigh* "So, can I stay here until further notice? As you can see, I don't really know where in space I am and I'd rather not be ditched in the middle of nowhere. Heck, I'd sleep in a closet if I that meant I could stay!" With that last remark, Hat Kid's eyes seemed to lit up for a split second before cheerfully walking up behind to me free me from the rope.

I saw Hat Kid throw what kept me bound- -a jump rope of all things- -aside as she left the room. 'Was it that simple?' Was what I thought after massaging my hand for being so stiff. I was left alone with that Rumba, which looked at me with malice and simply wandered away from me.

Hat Kid came back with a toilet scrubber and handed it to me. She then handed off the scrubber and began to tug on my sweater, signaling me to follow. I followed her up the ramp and the blue saloon style doors that lead to a kitchen. The kitchen fit the general definition of a nice kitchen by it's blue aesthetic, the large rug in the middle and the space around it.

The only thing that ruined the place was the fact that the room looked like a battlefield from the largest food fight in history. There were so many different liquids and smashed food littering the ground, walls, and even the ceiling….. Clicked in my mind real quick on what she wanted me to do. Before I could object to this, I saw that Hat Kid was gone and instead replaced with that rumba. It stared at me like it trying to read my innermost thoughts and desires.

"...I know you don't like me, but can we clean this mess before you enact your revenge?" The thing gave a small beep. Guess that means 'okay'.

"I'll get the walls, I don't think you can get up there unless…." The rumba ran against the wall and soon began to clean. Apparently, that thing's got Spiderman's powers. That just leaves me with the floor. I walked against all the mystery goop as I made it to the sink. I hesitated for a moment before opening the bottom cupboard. I really don't want to do this, but I don't, who knows what's going to happen to me!

I don't want to talk about the specifics of what I did. Let's just say that it wasn't a very pleasant experience to clean the entire room. That was the first time that rumba didn't try to attack me or anything, kind of went and did its job. We did manage to get the kitchen in tip-top shape though and what a difference it makes! I wandered to the main room, seeing if Hat Kid was around with another grueling job. So far, nothing. I think the coast is clear.

I took the time to relax by sitting on the swivel chair that I had been tied up to earlier. I didn't get much of a chance to relax by how my stomach was poked by a tip of an umbrella/parasol.

"Yes! What else do I need to do?" I straightened myself back up and stood in a position that you would see in an army major. Hat Kid was standing there, surprised by my quick reaction as she stumbled with her umbrella. She then tapped my leg, signaling me to follow her. She led me to a particularly empty wall. Hat Kid began to feel around the bottom of the wall before grabbing something and pulled up.

The wall opened like a shutter as she threw the wall upwards, revealing a door underneath.

So not everything about this ship is revealed in the game, huh? That may be a problem later on. Hat Kid then opened the door to reveal a tiny room. It looked like a shabby janitor's closet with the multiple shelves with soap along and a light bulb attached to a thin piece of string.

"Is….. this where I get my supplies?" I then noticed the broom, mop, and bucket sitting in a lonely corner of the room.

"Why didn't I get these earlier?" The girl's response was a measly shrug before leaving me by my lonesome. I was trying to memorize where everything was for my convenience when Hat Kid came with some tape and a sheet of paper with…...words? I'm pretty sure those are words.

I forgot that she's technically an alien. She stuck the paper the highest that she could put it and I got a better look at it. It was a bunch of symbols along with a doodle of... I think it's me. Guess I understand why she would mark a room, but why include my doodle? It's almost as if she wanted me to sleep in there…. In that dark, dim room…. With no mattress. I mean, it's not any better than my stiff one back home, but still…

"I'm sleeping in there?" I pointed at the room. Hat Kid gave an overly enthusiastic nod, leaving me to my new room. Damn, she didn't even give me a pillow. I entered the room to turn in for the night? Is night even a thing in space?

I guess I should think about my situation now that I have a grasp on what I have gotten myself into.

Where am I?

I'm stuck in A Hat In Time.

Why?

Don't know.

How?

Don't know.

When?

Pretty sure at the beginning of the game. Now, is it before or after she lost all the time pieces..?

What?

I'm pretty confused myself.

I'm pretty sure that once the game ends, I go back home, so all I have to do is just wait it out here in the ship till the end. What happens if I'm around after the ending?... I'd rather not think about that outcome. Until then, I should wait for tomorrow and see what surprises are in store for me.

I laid down on the ground.

Huh... The ground feels colder than I thought it'd be.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! Here are the review responses from the original chapter!**

 **The FapMeister: Thanks, I want these chapters to feel long, but not too long where it scares readers away. Hope your story updates soon!**

 **Shanelle Anjelee Monegro: Ask and you shall receive.**

 **And here are the new ones!**

 **Konan720: Yeah, that is an issue that I face with rewrites, but thanks for the compliment! And yes, that joke was really bad. I've also known about that DeviantArt for quite a while!**

 **nico2411: I deleted the first chapter, put the new one up as "New Chapter" and quickly swapped it to the respective chapter so that I can get notifications to those who want it.**

 **GaoGod: Yeah, but felt that I needed to a makeover for the dialogue by how much I rambled when first writing. I'm also thinking of taking out Mary Sue from the story. Not completely gone, but she won't be interacting with anyone in the story.** **in the story.**


	3. Introducing Mafia Town

**Heyo! Sorry for such a late update, but senior year is time-consuming! I'll be writing as much as I can up till Halloween, so be excited for that!**

 **Beta-read by CeleneTheAngel**

* * *

I managed to have a good night's rest, all things considered. The ground actually isn't that different from my bed.

Finding the door in the dark was a little more challenging though. I tripped 3 times and banged into one of the shelves at least once, knocking down all the stuff on the floor. Why didn't I memorize where that light switch was?

I eventually did find that darn thing and hazily walked out of the room. I saw that as a mistake by how the bright lights of the main hall blinded me as if I got hit by a flash grenade.

The first thing that I was able to see was Hat Kid dragging across the ground a telescope. I was still groggy, but I knew I should try to help get on her good side. Plus, I just like helping people. I walked to her and was quickly stopped by her raising her hand in front of me. She didn't even spare me glance, she was just that focused on dragging the telescope.

I guess she really did have a one-track mind like most platformer protagonists. I just kinda followed her because she was dragging that thing to the kitchen and I was getting a little hungry. When we entered the kitchen, I headed towards the fridge to see what I had to work with…. Damn, this fridge be empty! The only food in there were two apples. All the food must have been what I cleaned up yesterday.

During my little thought bubble, Hat Kid stopped looking into the telescope and started to head back to the main room. I thought Hat Kid was going to leave the spaceship to find another time piece, but I guess she thought that was too much of a good thing for me to be by myself. She made a beeline towards the closet and came out with a vacuum cleaner. This both shocked and offended me for very different reasons.

Reason One: It was clear that she didn't know what to do with me by how she already had a rumba to do the vacuuming.

Reason Two: It was also clear that she was just plain uncomfortable with my presence on her ship. It didn't take a genius to see her nervous face and how she pulled that thing as fast as she could to give it to me.

"Wait, you already have the…" I tried to tell her the problem with the rumba, but cut myself off as she had already left, if the window leading to outer space being wide open was any indication.

I figured I should get started. Then I heard a loud beep coming from the rumba behind me.

"What now?" I then saw what happened. The rumba was staring at an umbrella.

A very familiar blue umbrella with yellow stars around it.

Hat Kid's umbrella.

She forgot her umbrella in the spaceship.

"...Oh God. What do I do!?" I started panicking. She can't do crap without that thing! It'd be like playing Super Mario while Mario has crippling claudication!

I tried to think of any other possibility than the first one that popped in my head, but none of them really played out well in my mind. I couldn't just throw the umbrella into space, it could land anywhere. Can't tie it to the rumba and launch it, it'd either break on the way down or get stuck trying to go upstairs.

I would have to deliver the umbrella myself. And I jumped out the window.

There goes the plan of camping here 'till the end, but then again it probably wouldn't have worked out for me.

It may have seemed bad and it is, but at least I'm not hopelessly lost with nowhere to go. I faced towards the planet that grew closer with every passing second. I wonder how long it's going to take to reach the ground?

I just hope I don't burn up.

* * *

 **Awhile Later...**

Video Game physics work on me!

I was lucky enough to land near the island of Mafia Town, which was easily recognizable because of the blue rooftops over the island. I landed into the water near the edge of the island after seeing a short glimpse of Hat Kid running through the town. I don't think she's noticed her missing umbrella yet.

I swam around for a bit trying to find a rock where I wouldn't slip and crack my skull.

After finding the right stone, I dried myself off as I tried to figure out where exactly I was. Mafia Town was a fairly neat place. There was a slight breeze in the air, complementing the clear blue skies except for the few clouds that decided to hang around for a bit. The entire island seemed to be covered with sandy white houses with sea blue roofs. That's not even bringing up the spectacle of seeing a flying building caused by a volcano shooting out water.

That sounded dumb, but I swear it looked amazing. I snapped out of the sight when I heard a girl screaming "LET GO OF ME YOU BIG IDIOT!" I didn't even need to guess that it was Mustache Girl.

I ran towards the voice, but I noticed something watching me, wearing a red cloak and a mask. I didn't get to see much, but it was enough to give me a chill across my back for a moment.

The one second that I took to see the mystery person I hear a loud SQUAWK, scaring me enough to stumble for a bit. I looked to see some sort of bird, like a crow, but it had a ball shape to it. It stared at me with pure rage as it started to hop and squawk at me. I must've accidentally stepped on its foot or something when I wasn't looking.

"I'm super sorry about that, but I really need to go!" I tried to walk away and back to my objective in hand but was stopped when another one of those balloon crows in standing in my way. I was about to go in a different direction when I realized that I was being surrounded by a mob of crows.

"Umm….., look, this was an accident, I'm sure you guys make plenty of those in your lives. I'll just go and I'll be out your way-." One of the birds stepped in front of me, making it clear that none of them were going to let me go easy. So I did what a sensible person would've done in that situation. I kicked the first bird I saw and booked it. Wasn't like I was going to reason with them, and it was more of an instinctive move.

I didn't look back as I ran across the town, taking in all the sights that passed by me. I managed to lose them since they had tiny stick legs compared to my human-sized ones.

I was catching my breath when I realized that Mustache Girl had stopped yelling, but was instead replaced with a deep voice. I couldn't catch what they were saying, so I followed the voice with a gut feeling that whoever they were, they were with Mustache Girl.

I stopped around the corner where I presumed that it was the source of the deep voice, which was much more clear. I heard a Russian accented man say "Hey! Child! Shoo! Mafia can't have child witness when Mafia teaching lesson." Wait. I turn to peek and I see Hat Kid watching the Mafia on top of a pyramid of barrels, the one holding a child with a red hood who I assumed was Mustache Girl, on the tallest barrel.

More importantly, Hat Kid still doesn't know about the umbrella. I waved to Hat Kid, hoping I wasn't too late. She did squint at my general area, probably confused why I was here. I held the umbrella in the air, and that umbrella nearly made her eyes bulge out. Hat Kid started to look really nervous at the moment when a couple of Mafia goons started to circle her.

I decided that the best course of action was to try and return the umbrella to its rightful owner. I opened the umbrella and began to walk. I had no plan, just decided to wing it. If I got caught, I would probably wing that as well, just want to see how lucky I can be.

I wasn't that lucky when one of the Mafia goons noticed me, however.

"Why is scrawny boy carrying umbrella? Its good day today." Crap! Think of something!

"This isn't an umbrella, it's a parasol. The sun was getting in my eyes." I raised the umbrella higher so that covered me a little better to prove my point.

"But there is no sun, just clouds." The goon pointed to the sky, where there were indeed clouds blocking the sun. I raised my finger to point out a very good reason… but I didn't have one. So I didn't give one. I ran past the first goon and got about 5 feet away from the barrel pyramid before another goon grabbed the neck of my sweater and held me a good 2 feet from the air.

"Wait one moment…. Mafia think umbrella was one stolen from Mafia other day!" I tossed the umbrella, which bounced off another goon's head before landing with a clack onto the ground.

"Hey! Who hit Mafia?" An idea popped into my head right at that moment.

I pointed to the Mafia goon holding me and shouted "He did it!" like a toddler blaming the dog.

"Watch where Mafia throw! Mafia may have gotten head injury."

"Mafia didn't throw umbrella! Scrawny boy is lying!"

"I don't why you're shifting the blame to me." I said, feigning innocence.

"Is 'annoying' your plan?" Mustache Girl quipped as she saw everything unfolding in front of her.

"I mean- OH GOD, THEY'RE HERE!" I screeched. The Mafia goon was confused with what I meant, until a bunch of squawking and crowing coming from around the corner. It was then a literal murder of crows came from around the bend and charged towards the plaza.

As the goons were distracted, I kicked the one apprehending me with a solid kick in the gut before landing on the ground and ran. I looked back to see the crows showing no mercy to no man, clawing and chasing every goon that wasn't on the barrel pyramid at that point.

I would've quipped how a bunch of burly men was being bullied by a bundle of birds, but I knew firsthand how scary it was being grouped up like that. I also noticed that was also the moment that Hat Kid took the opportunity to grab her umbrella and knock a distracted member off the edge of the cliff he was pushed towards. Between the crows, Mafia, and her just getting her umbrella back, Hat Kid sure looked determined.

"Mafia! Go teach girl lesson!" The leader commanded, which the goons that hadn't been attacked yet followed the order. As I avoided the pecking crows and Mafia members trying to grab me, I turned to see Hat Kid really go ham and cheese on the Mafia. She circled around the barrel pyramid as the goons tried to grab her to no avail as well. She rolled away from one member's lunge to swiftly jump up in the air and flew into another member's head to bounce off of.

Realizing that he was losing men fast, the leader of the goons threw Mustache Girl in my direction as he began to pick up barrels. On the plus side, I caught the girl, but on the minus, it nearly threw me off to the water. I was only saved by a convenient rock right below the edge. It took a minute for me to pull myself together, but it wasn't made easy by the fact that I got knocked off my feet by a literal beast of a man! I glanced over to Mustache Girl, who was laying down next to me and groaning.

"Are... you okay?" I said, still laying on the stone ground

"Dumb Mafia grabbing me….. Can't wait to pay them back." At least she isn't hurt. Can't say the same about my everything.

I didn't want to look up from my "safe space", as I dubbed it, in fear that something would find me and MG down here. Eventually, my curiosity got the better than me, however.

I just heard a series of grunts and thuds before it became quiet. I looked from my safe place only to immediately duck from a rolling barrel that bounced in the water below. It exploded, sending water down to the ground from the force.

"WHY THE HECK DO THEY NEED TNT TO BEGIN WITH?" I yelled, very surprised by the amount of over the top stuff I had to go through today.

That was when I decided that I was content to where I was and looked using the higher placed rocks around me as cover. I took a peek to see Hat Girl sweep one of the Mafia goon's legs, making him fall while she beat him down with her umbrella before he had the chance to get back Mafia then began to close in on her as she swung her parasol at him, soon making him and the goon on the ground explode into green orbs. Wait, do they die or do they just respawn somewhere else?... On second thought, I don't think I want to know...

As I watched, I noticed something tugging on my sweater. I turned to see that it was Mustache Girl.

"I have a lot of questions right now, so you need to give me answers," she said, putting her hands on her hips in a way to get some authority. Didn't help that she was half my size, though.

I laid down on the ground, exhausted. "You make that sound more like a demand, but I'll try my best."

"Okay, first question: Was that whole fiasco with those crows your plan?" She asked.

"I consider it a happy accident that I created." Less with the happy, when I think about it.

"...Did you even had a plan?" Mustache Girl asked with her eyes squinted in a curious manner.

"Ha, no! I had to think on the fly because Hat Kid forgot her umbrella and because It was the right thing to do." In reality, I didn't want to screw with the game's timeline, but I don't think I explain that to Mustache Girl without her trying to exploit me against the Mafia.

"So that was all improv? Now I know who I'm going to go to for plans." I couldn't tell if she was saying that in a sarcastic way or being genuine, but I'll stay optimistic for today.

Hat Kid had finished beating up the Mafia while we had our little conversation, The last goon had fled, only leaving a time piece behind on the top barrel of the pyramid. Too bad that the entire plaza was overrun by those crows.

"Well, let's go thank your friend for helping me." Mustache Girl said with a little bit of pep hinted in her voice, probably in the idea of Hat Kid joining her one girl rebellion.

"I don't want to." I'd rather make Mustache Girl an enemy than meet the fury of a hundred pecks.

Her body sulked by my blatant comment as she said, "Don't be a baby. If you don't make them mad then you'll be fine."

"What'd you think I did? I kicked one of them like a soccer ball! Just leave me behind..." I said, laying on the ground overdramatically.

"Okay." Mustache Girl jumped back to the plaza and walked out of sight. I feel I should be surprised, but I'm not. I just took that opportunity to lay on the ground and relax from all the crap that's happened to me lately. I got chased by birds, confronted the Mafia, and accidentally save basically the "villain" of A Hat of Time. While lying down, I heard a loud pop. I looked above the ledge to see that both Hat Kid and Mustache Girl were now gone. Now I'm alone here, in Mafia Town. Oh no.

I wonder what will happen next. Knowing my luck, it'll be something that I won't enjoy.

* * *

 ** _And that's a wrap for this chapter! Sorry about not updating sooner, but I was held up with projects and personal stuff. The next chapter will be up definitely at least 2 days to 6 days from today. If not, you have the right to yell at me_**

 ** _The FapMeister: Thanks, I want these chapters to feel long, but not too long where it scares readers away. Hope your story updates soon!_**

 ** _Shanelle Anjelee Monegro: Ask and you shall receive._**

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 _ **Rand0m0bs3ss10ns: Thanks for the kind words! I'll be sure to keep that offer in mind. *Throws blanket on computer* I NOW COMMAND YOU TO SLEEP!**_


	4. Stuck in Mafia Town

**H** **ey there people! I know that I've been gone for a long time, and to that, I apologize. Good news is that I hope to get back to a schedule of a chapter once a week, as of posting I'm already working on the next chapters, so you don't need to worry about any more hiatus' for a good while! Even better news, I've been the beta-reader for two stories, "Super Smash Bros 20th Anniversary Tournament" By Dream Guardian AMS and "A Sound of Thunder" by SilverExcel115, both from Super Smash Bros. and RWBY respectively.**

 **Beta-Read by CeleneTheAngel**

* * *

I decided to explore Mafia Town since I was stuck here. I took in the nice scenery of the island, now understanding why the Mafia would want to take over this island, to begin with. It was the definition of cozy, with its nice weather and the small beach on the corner of the island that I was currently exploring at the moment.

I noticed nearby in the sand was one of those green pons floating in the air. I walked up and got to my knees to make sure that my eyes weren't playing any tricks on me. I know it's video game logic, but it's so strange to see something like this in real life in front of me.

While admiring the large floating ball like a little child, a random thought appeared in my mind. 'Can you pick that pon up like in the game?' I reached out my arm and poked the pon, nothing happened for a moment. Then the orb rushed above my head, circled around for a bit and disappeared.

 _Where'd it go?_ was my immediate thought, scared out of my mind since a green orb was now inside of me and I have no idea if I could take it out now!... _I don't feel different. Maybe it'll come out when I need it. I just need to find something to distract me from this so I don't freak myself out even more! Look, door!_

It was then and there when I noticed a large gate that appeared to be unguarded at the moment and was left slightly open. Curious, I decided to take a look. Inside the gate was a large narrow cavern that was decorated with crystals on the walls.

I picked one of the crystals up, noticing that it had a violet glowing tint to it, and pocketed it. As I walked deeper into the cavern, the path split 3 different ways, each leading to their own gates. In the middle of the room was a pillar of water shooting upwards towards a hole up above.

I was star struck by the marvel that I seeing, before realizing what this geyser was.

"Holy crap, this is the geyser that's supporting the Mafia's hideout! Now that's something I won't be forgetting for a while. I should leave before…" It was too late. Two Mafia goons were standing right behind me, arms crossed and looking very.

"…..Can we talk about this?" I asked.

"No." Said one of the goons as the other pulled a bag from behind his back. I tried to run back to where I came from, but unfortunately, the goons were faster. I was pushed inside of the duffel bag and was being dragged out to who knows where.

Now I'm being kidnapped and being dragged to god knows where! It's moments like these when I wonder if I did anything bad to anyone to get in these situations.

* * *

Hat Kid was having a good day. She made a new friend, got herself back a timepiece and even got to see a neat island! Too bad she felt like something was wrong. Like something was missing...

Mustache Girl looked around, realizing something was missing. "Umm, hey. Where's your weird friend?" Hat Kid knew she forgot about something!

She ran and pressed her hands on the glass, looking over the planet that… that guy was on. Okay, so she didn't know who that guy's name was. She'll just make one up! ...He wears a sweater, so he'll be formally known as Sweater Guy!

Strange guy, but at least she got some free labor out of him.

Hat Kid was about to jump back to Mafia Town when she began to have second thoughts. _If I leave, then that means I have to leave Mustache Girl here, alone._ She knew from personal experience that she shouldn't leave anyone alone here. Ever. Hat Kid will just wait until Mustache Girl leaves, she's sure that Sweater Guy will be fine until then.

"So, do you know about those magic yarn balls around the island that give you powers?" Mustache Girl asked, catching Hat Kid's admittedly short attention span as she began to listen.

* * *

 _So far it's been a bumpy road for good old Jr., who's currently in a duffel bag_ , I narrated in the 3rd-person.

I didn't really know where I was going at the moment. I had a couple of guesses, but wherever it was, it was sure taking a while to get there. I didn't want to move around in the bag because I was afraid of angering one of the goons, so I had to hold myself up in a couple of weird positions while stuck here. The only sense I had available to me was my hearing, and even then it wasn't that helpful.

The sounds were in this order: A hissing of an open flame, doors opening, beeping and clinking of what sounded like an arcade or slot machines, and finally, coins rustling against each other.

I heard a gruff voice say, "Hmm? What do you two want?"

"Mafia found scrawny boy sneaking inside cavern while on break. Mafia figured that leader would want to meet him." Said one of the Russian accented Mafia members

"Okay, then. Open the bag and show me the intruder." Demanded the mystery voice.

I was shown light again as I was tossed out of the bag and onto the floor of a ridiculously fancy room. It was decorated with ornaments fit for a king, with gold littered about beneath a throne. In other words, I was in a very arrogant person's bedroom. I saw sitting on the throne was a man similar to the Mafia, but not quite.

He was wearing a red coat instead of the usual sailor blue outfits of the regular goons, and he had a large mustache similar to Mustache Girl's. He looked at me quizzically as I was trying to figure out a way out of this.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself for wandering into my cave, you little thief? You're probably with that little brat that's been bothering my good business!" Oh no, I'm in front of the Mafia's Boss and he thinks that I'm with his nemesis.

"Wait, wait, wait! I'm not with that mustache girl! I just happened to get mixed up during a scuffle between your guys and someone else and when the TNT started coming out, I hid there so I didn't get blown up. I didn't do anything else, I swear!"

That crystal from earlier wanted to disprove that rather quickly and fell out of my pocket with a thud. I began to sweat as the Mafia Boss began to pull out a large machete.

He jumped and landed in front of me, pointing the knife at my chest.

"So I see you're a liar as well." He picked up the crystal and strangely put the knife back in its sheath.

"I'm not a forgiving man, but I'm also not really in a mood to show the true Mafia style! Instead, you're going to pay the price for your crimes as this island's janitor!" The Mafia Boss said, or is he technically my boss now?

"So does that mean I clean the buildings or…?" I asked, hoping that he would go easy on me.

"You are going to clean every piece of filth on this island until it shines off the cleanliness that my Mafia deserves!" The Boss proclaimed in a mighty voice. He just cranked up that difficulty up to 'God Level' for me.

"Just know, boy. You can't leave this island until I allow it. You are both a prisoner and a lowly member of the Mafia! All this out of the kindness of my heart." It's like he's trying to give me mixed messages right now. The Mafia Boss began to push me out of the room before giving me my first task.

"I was going to send some of my men to go clean up the mess your little friends made, but I think this shall be your first job as our official janitor."

"Wait a minute! I don't know-!" The door slammed in front of my face.

I'm still alive, so that's good. But he isn't convinced about me not knowing Mustache Girl. It's technically not a lie, I don't know Mustache Girl personally, I just know she's a person. And that she's going to be mad at Hat Kid. And enslave the entire planet, yeah... I see that I actually know quite a lot about her.

One of the goons showed me the closet and gave me a mop and a bucket. I was also forced into wearing a uniform too big for me since no one here is my size. I walked out of the shady place and continued on to my new 'job'. Food for thought, the hissing sound that I mentioned while in the bag happened to be a hot air balloon that the goons use to get up and down from the hideout, so that's pretty neat.

As I walked, I happened to notice that the same eyes from earlier today were watching me again from the shadows like a wussy. I also had to make a couple of detours while on my way because of all the crows that roamed around this island. I don't know if they forgot, but I wasn't willing to take that chance any time soon.

I also kept an eye out for either Hat Kid or Mustache Girl. A slim chance that they actually came back for lil' ole' me, but one can hope. Well, maybe not for Mustache Girl, given my circumstances.

I'm starting to lose the appeal of self-inserts now. At least in those self-indulgent stories, they have some semblance of luck with them. Here, the luckiest things to happen to me was convincing Hat Kid to let me stay, and, just, _not_ dying. And to be honest, none of those sound like high accomplishments.

I didn't get far before I heard a chuckle from an ominous source. I was already annoyed enough as it was, so I turned to yell the jerk to scram.

Instead of a regular person, there was some sort of being with a jester's outfit and purple skin. His entire body spasmed every few seconds as pixels floated out of him, giving off an unsettling feeling. I couldn't see much of his face because of the mask he wore to cover it up, but there was one distinguishable detail that I could recognize. The eyes were the ones I saw twice now. He's the guy who's been watching me! Now only if I can remember his name.

He spoke with an unsettlingly calm voice "Hello there."

I made a note in my mind to make sure that he didn't get too close to me as I responded: "Is there a reason why you were watching me instead of saying hello like you're doing right now?"

"I wanted to see what would you do. I must say, you truly are an interesting person." The Badge Seller commented

"Am I? I'm just a guy who accidentally stumbled into this entire fiasco."

"That is what makes you interesting. An ordinary boy thrown into an extraordinary world. Sounds so much like tales of old." He said as if reminiscing on the past.

This guy was just making me more and more confused. "That's it? You find me an interesting person just by contrast?"

"Somewhat. I'm just a man who enjoys meeting new people. I also sense your troubles are far from over." Yeah, I think anyone with common sense could've figured that out.

"….Well then, it was nice meeting you...?" I started while making a circling motion with my hand so he could (hopefully) finish the phrase.

"Right, how could I have forgotten? I am a weary traveler known as the Badge Seller. When you see me in the near future, I advise you to look into my wears. " That's his name. Doubt I'll remember it though.

The Badge Seller began to limp away with his walking stick before eventually turning around the corner. I started mopping, and thought to myself _He sure has a weird vibe. Even when compared with everyone else I've met so far._

* * *

Hat Kid was very invested in what Mustache Girl was teaching her at the moment. Mustache Girl taught her about those yarn balls all around that island, and how you can make cool hats out them. Hat Kid was a little disappointed since she thought that those yarn balls meant that there were a bunch of cats there, but that isn't too bad when you could get cool powers!

The only downside was that she had to get all the chairs and chalkboard set up in her teaching room. The one time you have someone to do your chores and you lose him on the first day!

Hat Kid did notice her new friends ...less than kid-friendly ways at "getting back" at the Mafia, but what friends don't have their little quirks about them?

"…and yeah, that about covers about everything off the top of my head. You got any questions?" Hat Kid just sat in her chair in complete silence, staring at Mustache Girl. She wasn't much into that whole "talking" thing just yet. Mustache Girl was weirded out for a moment but remembered back on the island about her being shy.

"Right, sorry."

The girls began to walk out of the room and to the main carpet area, walking towards the glass wall. "I'll just be on my way and go back to my island. Someone has to teach those Mafia a lesson!" Oh yeah! Hat Kid forgot about Sweater Guy! He's still on the island. Eh, he's probably fine.

Mustache Girl paused when she looked out to her home planet.

"Umm, how do I get back home?"

AHHHH! Why is Hat Kid forgetting so many things today?! The hatted child ran back to her room, coming back with a bundle of balloons in her hands before passing the bundle to Mustache Girl.

"You want me to float down with these?" Mustache Girl asked. Hat Kid nodded eagerly.

"I like your way of thinking! With our wits, we'll be an amazing duo together!" Mustache girl exclaimed, jumping out the window and slowly floating down back to her planet. Hat Kid following behind with her umbrella.

Now all she needs to do is find Sweater Guy and she'll be done! Goodbye dirty dishes, hello fun times! Hat Kid landed on the same plaza that she had been earlier today, only that it was raining up a storm and that nothing was in sight. The barrels of TNT were gone and Sweater Guy was nowhere to be seen.

What if he was caught by those Mafia guys? It's not like he could've put much of a fight, he was as thin as a twig. But then again, he does seem pretty clever for a stranger, so who knows? Now, if Hat Kid was a big, burly, weirdly accented, mean chef, where would she take a prisoner to? She turned and saw a large starred tower with a globe on that, along with a sparkle that Hat Kid was all too familiar with. _I think I know where I would take him_ , Hat Kid thought as she ran towards the only lead that she had at the moment.

Hat Kid would consider herself to be pretty quick on her feet, but sometimes you make a mistake when you climb and hop on a rainy night. She managed to parkour her way to the tower, where she accidentally slipped and ever so conveniently landed in a mud pile. Hat Kid picked herself back up, both dazed and half-blinded as she was covered in a thick coat of mud.

 _Where is everything!?_ The girl thought as she tried to rub the mud off her eyes while trying to walk forward, only to stumble.

Great, and now Hat Kid has to clean herself up when she gets home! She doubts Sweater Guy could be any worse than she is right now.

* * *

"What am I doing here?" I asked, referring to the fact that I was standing on the edge of the top of a tower during a lightning storm. I had just finished cleaning up all the gunpowder and bird poop around and came back to my next job, which took me all day, minds you. The 'Boss' told me to go help one of his members in the observatory. Of course, I came back outside to see a sudden storm appear in the 3 minutes that I was inside.

"Well, the Boss wants to make sure that someone's keeping an eye out for that mustachioed girl that's been bothering us." Said Glasses Goon as I liked to dub him. He wasn't that different from most of the other members, he just wore a pair of wacky glasses, therefore Glasses Goon.

One aspect that stood out from him was that he actually gave me some form of respect! He tried to give me simple jobs to do along with not calling me 'scrawny' as everyone else called me.

"You seem like you are doing a good job at that." I said, not happy to be out during the middle of such a heavy storm.

"No, no, no. That's your job. My job is to test out this!" Glasses Goon pulled out a sparkling hourglass that lit up like a bright lantern. It was a time piece.

"Where did you get that?"

"These things have been falling from the sky for a while. The Boss has been asking for us to collect them and to study what they can do." A question popped into my head, sparking my curiosity.

"Do you know anything about those purple crystals in those caves under the island? The Boss seemed sure determined to keep them away from anyone."

"I shouldn't say. You are but a simple janitor." Glasses Goon pointed out.

"A janitor that happens to be in the Mafia." I pointed out.

What's so special about those crystals that the Boss would threaten me over them? My thought process was interrupted, however when Glasses Goon screamed in such a high pitched tone, shouting "I knew it! Aliens are coming to invade!" He bolted past me to a different platform.

I turned around to see what he was blabbering about, then I nearly booked it myself!

There was some sort of... thing covered in mud that walked over to me while moaning. I stopped myself from jumping over to Glasses Goon when I realized that moaning sounded both strange and familiar. And it sounded higher pitched than I thought. My mind flashed an image in my head and I began to feel incredibly dumb.

"Hat Kid?" I asked, squinting to get a better look. My thought was proven right as the silhouette was exactly that girl's shape. This was that one mission where Hat Kid gets covered in mud and chases Glasses Goon for a time piece.

"Sweet gosh! Where were you? I had to join the Mafia to save my neck from their boss!" All Hat Kid gave me was a cowardly shrug, as if saying "I forgot!"

I sighed "Glasses Goon has your hourglass, meet me back here when you get it since I'm not the best jumper around." Hat Kid nodded and took chase after Glasses Goon.

Looking around to see if the coast was clear, I slid my back against the wall before sitting down. I finally I had the chance to take a breath after a whole day of working myself to near death.

"Whatcha doin'?" Came a sudden voice, causing me to yelp in surprise and lose my balance. I saw that the voice belonged to Mustache Girl, her bottom half engulfed in mud.

"Jeez, it's just me, guy. I guess you're one of those jumpy people, right?" She asked, a hint of snark hidden in her tone.

"For your information, I have not been having the best of days. When you see a lot of strange stuff as I have, you tend to be wary of everything."

"Yeah, I guess I can relate." She looks down to the apron that I was wearing. "What are you wearing?" What do I do?! I can't lie to her or she'll label me as a traitor! What could I even lie about?!

Seeing no long-term solution, I had no options left. "I may have sort of have been forced to join the Mafia so I didn't die." I winced seeing Mustache Girl's face fully baffled with what I said and simply looked down to her knees. Saying I was nervous would have been an understatement, and believe me, I know understatements. We were just in silence for a couple of minutes, only hearing the pitter patter of the rain against the wood and metal.

Swallowing any emotions within me, I was the one who broke the silence. "Aren't you mad?"

Inexpertly, Mustache Girl faced me and looked….. excited? "How can I be mad when I have a double agent infiltrating the one place I couldn't even touch!" She said. I didn't know how to respond, this was the complete opposite that I thought she was going to react. I decided to roll with my luck for now.

"I mean... Sure! You seem eager to work with someone you hardly know." I said with my arms crossed

"You're friends with Hat Kid, and knowing her as well I do, I'm pretty sure you're someone I can trust." Mustache Girl said.

"You've known her for a day." I deadpanned.

"I like to think I'm a good judge of character." She then went back to her thoughtful gaze from before. "I may need to change my plans if you are going to be part of it."

What have I done?! I've screwed with the timeline now! Okay, okay. I just need to shift whatever she thinks of back to what happens in the game and everything will be fine. Wait, why is Mustache Girl even up here at all when she wasn't even mentioned here?!

"….When will you announce the plan? And why are you up here in the first place? There's kind of a big storm." I said, a lightning bolt streaking through the clouds as if to prove my point.

"To answer your first question, about 2 days? These plans take time to think up, y'know. I was also going to push that goon with the glasses off the tower so that there was one less guy to deal with later." She said with spite in her voice. You start to feel both pity because MU is just a kid, but you tend to fear her because of how twisted her idea of 'justice' is.

"Before I take my leave, what do I call you, exactly?"

"That's…actually the first time someone has asked my name. My name is Jr. Do you have a name?" I asked, secretly hoping that I did get a name.

"Just call me Mustache Girl. It's a nickname that I've gotten used to." Shoot! At least that's her official name? The hooded girl hopped off the tower and rolled across on top of the blue roofs.

That sure was an experience. At least I got on Mustache Girl's good side, so I can say today wasn't completely bad. I turned and yelped in surprise again when I saw that Hat Kid was standing right there.

"Sweet mother of-! Can you stop doing that?" Hat Kid didn't seem to care with the grin that she had on her face. I noticed that she was holding an hourglass in her arms, which was probably the reason for the grin. She took my hand and began to lead me somewhere, but I broke away before we got far.

"Umm, remember when I said that I joined the Mafia? That means I can't leave the island. Plus I may have accidentally gotten roped into your friend's plan, so yeah." I said, scratching the back of my head now that I realized how deep I've gotten myself into today.

Hat Kid's face changed from a face a contempt to that of pure shock and fear. I couldn't tell if it was worry for me, or that she was planning something big for me to do back on the ship, but I'm willing to bet the latter if today was any indication. With a defeated sigh, she gave me a weak goodbye wave before she vanished instantly in front of me!

I guess the world decided to give me one last surprise. Now I'm alone in the middle of a storm. I can always hope for tomorrow to be a bit better.

* * *

 **Hopefully this chapter sort of made up for my month + hatius!**

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 **See you guys next Sunday, back to writing for me!**


	5. Still in Mafia Town

**Hope this is decent! I forgot about Christmas and the New Year, so that took a bit out of me. Hope you enjoy this.**

 **Beta-read by CeleneTheAngel**

* * *

You would think that based off from everything that I've been through lately that today would be no different, right? You'd be wrong then.

I slept on an actual bed in a decent looking room, got to see a nice view, and I started to figure out the names of the Mafia members around the island! There was Sneaky Mafia, Trickster Mafia, Cooking Mafia, so on and so on. 'They didn't have original names, but I surprised that they had names to begin with. The only real downside to all this was breakfast. Everyone was served a fish and every single one looked the same as mine: gross and raw. I hesitated for obvious reasons, hoping that something would come to save me.

Right then and there, something hit the back of my head, catching my attention. Looking at the object's direction, the only thing I saw was a spoon on the floor. Confused, I turned to see that my plate looked different. It actually looked editable! The fish was both moist and steaming hot, along with a smell that was a lot more tolerable than before. Heck, all the fish dishes seemed to undergo the same transformation, it was like the dishes were switched out with something even better!

This was probably mentioned in the game, but too bad that parts of the game are only coming in and out of my mind right now. I can remember every single chapter in Dead Bird studios since I loved that to near death while the opposite was true for Alpine Plains. Mafia Town was somewhere in the middle for me. I understood the main gist of this part, Mustache Girl becomes friends with Hat Kid only to label her as a bad guy because Hat Kid doesn't use them to be a hero, but I can't remember the finer details.

Nothing much happened after that, all the members had their own conversations and stuff to do. Some goons were talking about forgetting some sort of code and another was boasting about his racing abilities, just to name a few that I eavesdropped on.

Even if I had the best morning since being here, I had to face the reality that I screwed up and now Mustache Girl is changing her original plan because of me. I mean, it's still probably going to end the same with Mustache Girl breaking up with Hat Kid, but it's still a reminder that I could cause the biggest butterfly effect of all time if I'm not careful enough.

I was off doing my 'job' of cleaning around Mafia Town with the bucket and mop I had on me, which I actually managed to finish to my surprise. I didn't have much to do at the moment, so I decided to explore Mafia Town with the little free time that I had. That was when I noticed one of those Mafia Goons trying to reach for something that was trapped in what looked like a small dungeon with its steel bars.

The goon took notice to me and shouted "Hey! Can scrawny boy help Mafia with problem?" I didn't really know what to do, but ultimately the nice guy in me won.

"What do you need help with?"

"Mafia dropped favorite ladle into room. Mafia is too big to fit, but maybe boy is small enough to squeeze through?" He pointed to the supposed ladle sitting on the room's ground. I looked at the bars hesitantly, wondering if I could fit like the goon claimed I could. I then gathered the courage to try. I was decently surprised to learn that I was just thin enough to fit between the bars and to the other side of the room. Maybe there is a reason why everyone here has been calling me scrawny, but that doesn't make that word hurt less.

I grabbed the ladle and was about to leave the way I came in when I noticed that there was a slight glow coming from behind a nearby crate. I looked behind it to see a colorful yarn ball that was floating just like the pons I've been unwillingly been collecting.

I came out of the mini-dungeon and handed the ladle off to the Mafia goon, who held it close to his chest.

"Mafia give thanks to boy! Ladle is only reminder of home before Mafia decided to build best town in existence. Mafia doesn't have pons to give, but Mafia hears that trophy is being handed out to winner of race."

"Before I leave, how come you guys don't use these yarn balls? I've heard that these are pretty useful." I asked

"Mafia would use yarn ball, but Mafia doesn't know how to knit." That's… strangely smart? It sure explains a lot.

With that me and the mafia goon went on our different ways. I made a note in my mind to give this to Hat Kid next time that I see her.

A certain purple blur pasted right by me, causing the sudden wind behind it to catch me off guard and pushed me to the ground. The blur stopped and it was now clear who it was. Hat Kid skidded against the ground and turned to run back to me. She looked practically the same as she was last time, but she was wearing a red cap with wings on the side instead of her usual purple top hat.

"Hey, I found something that'll probably be more useful to you than to me." I pulled out the yarn ball from earlier. Hat Kid eagerly swiped away the ball from my hand as she turned her back to me. I began to the clicking of…..knitting needles? I didn't get a lot of time to investigate the sound because as soon as she turned away from me she was done. She had yet another hat in her hands, this one being a witch's hat.

Hat Kid tossed her winged cap to me as she put on the new hat. I noticed that she had a belt full of beakers on her, which I'm sure is because of the hat because game logic. Hat Kid eyed at a nearby crate and threw one of the beakers at it. The crate blew up in purple smoke as pieces flew around.

I saw Hat Kid's eyes begin to sparkle as she realized the terrifying possibilities that she can create now. She was about to throw another vial when Hat Kid stumbled and dropped it to the ground. Out of instinct, I grabbed the bucket I had and turned it upside down to cover the vial. I tensed up, waiting for the vial to explode when nothing happened. No explosion, no boom, nothing.

"...So is this pretty anticlimactic, huh?" I asked to myself. I got off of the bucket, thinking the vial was just a dud. Except the vial wasn't a dud, apparently. The vial blew into an explosion right then and there. That bucket happened to be aimed at my stomach, so that bucket punched me right in the gut. I wheezed and fell onto my knees. I heard Hat Kid trying to stifle her laughing as I groaned from my pain. I'm actually going to kill myself with the garbage I'm faced with, but if I'm not dead yet, then I have the right to believe that I can never die to this point.

Eventually, I was able to get on my feet again, even if the pain was still with me. My instinct immediately was to grab the hat off the child and hold it away from her grasp.

"Nope. No more. I'm a bit tired of being the world's punching bag." Hat Kid pouted in response. I tossed her back the red cap.

"Here. Sounds like a fair trade. But I actually heard about a race, and the prize happens to be one of your hourglasses." I said. Hat Kid changed an interested look. I began to walk with Hat Kid following when I realized that I had no idea where I was going.

"Hey, I don't really know where this race is at, so maybe we should split up. One of us has to find it on this island." With that, me and Hat Kid once again went on our separate ways.

Where is this guy? I've been looking for the past hour and I've seen nor heard anything about a race, so I think I got scammed. I swear,

When I turned the corner, I saw a Mafia goon on top a cartoonish bright red rocket. Because why not?

"Are you the one that's been talking about a race?" I questioned.

"Finally! Mafia asks other Mafia to race, but everyone declines, saying how Mafia cheats too much and is sore loser. Mafia just says 'Bah' and calls them sore losers! The rocket goon boasted.

"Okay, so I made a bet with that Mafia goon while you were gone and now if you lose, then I'm stuck here cleaning his rocket. So no pressure." She gave an annoyed look as I could sense how unwise my decision was now that I say this out loud.

"Oh, don't worry. Just go on and have a clean and honest race." I insisted as I slid Hat Kid towards the starting line and put on her red cap.

 **"ONE,"**

A clean, wholesome race.

 **"TWO,"**

I expected to see that.

 **"THREE!"**

I forget Mafia tends to cheat. The goon bustled past Hat Kid, literally leaving her in the dust. Hat Kid clumsily took chase right behind. Why did have to say 'a honest race'?

 **One race later...**

"Mafia win!" I KNEW IT! The rocket Mafia came barreling through to the finish line with Hat Kid collapsing out of breath shortly after.

"Janitor better get with cleaning!" The goon demanded.

"Wait a moment! Now, what if I sweetened the deal with another race?" I insisted, a sly look on my face.

"Another excuse for Mafia to race? Deal. If Mafia win, boy now has to clean both rocket and shine shoes!" The goon told me.

"Fair enough. Now let me consult with my racer and we'll have a rematch!" I settled. I saw Hat Kid who finally recovered from her hyperventilating when she noticed me.

"Okay, so you lost." Hat Kid had a face that just screamed 'you don't say?'.

"But I managed to get you a second race! It's okay, though, because we're going to cheat this time. It's fine to cheat if you're opponent decides to use a rocket to win." This idea seemed to be okay with her due to her evil grin very reminiscent of the Grinch. Plus, my words hold validity to them. I feel that I should hold no remorse since Hat Kid technically was going to cheat anyway.

This is gonna be the time we win. I just have a good feeling about this one.

 **5 minutes later**

I was leaning on my mop as I I heard what sounded like an engine coming by. Off in the distance, The goon was barreling down to the finish line neck and neck with Hat Kid. It looks like it's gonna go to luck….. I'm going to lose. I began to panic and accidentally tripped over the bucket that I've been carrying all day. A lightbulb and a flashback popped in my head.

I took out the witch Hat that I took from Hat Kid and put it on me. To my surprise, a belt full of potions appeared in a poof of smoke.

"Yes!" I cheered. I positioned the bucket up in the air. I grabbed the 2 vials from the belt and held them up to the open side that pointed to the ground. I let go of the bucket right before the vials exploded, shooting the bucket to the sky like a rocket and pushing me to the ground. The bucket smashed into the goon's face, knocking him off the rocket which flew off in the distance. Hat Kid sprinted past the goon lying on the ground and through the finish line.

I didn't expect those results, but I'm just glad that I didn't lose. I ran up to Hat Kid, who was exhausted from the race and lied on the ground.

"YES! We won!" I hurrahed. The Mafia goon picked himself off the ground and walked up to me.

"Mafia should have cut losses on bets, but ol' well. Boy win fair and square. Here is shiney trophy." ….These Mafia goons keep on surprising me by how nice they are. I'm starting to feel like a jerk for cheating.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry about your rocket." I apologized.

"Eh, it's no problem. Mafia has spare at home." The goon explained before walking away.

"Well, Hat Kid? We finally got your time piece, and you're gone." I mumbled as I noticed Hat Kid looking at some sort glowing thing in a dark ally corner. I walked to see a large vortex spinning and sparking in place.

"Is this something I should worry about?" I asked. Hat Kid jumped into the vortex.. I sat against the wall. Before I could even think of following her, however, Hat Kid came bursting out of the blue portal before it was replaced with an unconscious Mafia goon. Hat Kid was now holding a time piece in one hand and a bundle of papers together.

The Mafia Goon woke up looking dazed. "Mafia had a weird dream. He was back on boat before he became Mafia and little girl was in it." He said. I suddenly had a question to ask.

"What exactly were you guys before this island?" I asked.

"Well, is long story. Most likely little girl and boy would get bored without pictures." Hat Kid handed the Goon the paper bundle. His face was full of reminisce.

"Ah, how convenient! Mafia was worker in large factory, every Mafia was! Mafia Boss was the owner of factory, but Boss wasn't satisfied with life." The Goon flipped through the pages, showing the apparent fish factory along with the Boss himself looking bored.

"Boss then though of brilliant idea! Mafia would find island where Mafia would never feel unsatisfied, where Mafia wouldn't worry about future!" The goon narrated as he continued through the story. I was starting to feel a bit guilty about myself.

Narrator Mafia flipped to a drawing of Mafia goons landing on an island. "Then Mafia found dream island. Ever since then Mafia has never felt sad or unhappy about life choices! Story time is over, now shoo." He closed the book and handed it back to Hat Kid. The goon then proceeded scooted us out of the ally corner. I don't think Hat Kid really cared about the story based on her bright smile. Can't say the same for me though.

That was that, Hat Kid left with two timepieces, I walked back to the Mafia hideout. I sat down on my bed to sleep all the stress from today away. I hope tomorrow gives me a reason to not like the Mafia. Because if not, I'm going to be in some trouble.

* * *

 **Konan720** **- _Hello! I, CeleneTheAngel have received permission to answer your review today good sir!_ **  
**_First off, *snickers* Wrong kinda 'muscle' dude. Sorry, I'm a stickler for that kinda stuff.  
And it's nice that our concerns for this writer overlap. I'm hoping he won't overwork himself with me here. But you should probably be getting more sleep._**

 **Shogunyan999YT: Still have no idea what you're talking about.**

 ** _Well, hope you liked the chapter!_**


	6. Safes and Tickets In Mafia Town

**Soery for being a bit late.**

 **Beta-read by CeleneTheAngel**

* * *

I was standing in complete darkness. There was nothing.

It didn't matter if I moved, everything looked the same. I began to hear whispers all around me breaking the silence. Then, a red cloak appeared in the blackness.

I woke up, looking to see that I was still at the Mafia hideout. Of course I was. But this was a new day, and new day, new chances. I hope dreams like that aren't going to be a regular thing, because I knew 0% of what was happening. I wonder what the world has in store for me today.

"Nothing."

"What do you mean 'nothing'?" I asked.

"The Boss has nothing for boy to do right at the moment. Boy has free time." The Mafia goon that guarded the Mafia Boss' throne and treasure room told me. I wouldn't normally complain, but the Boss _always_ has something for me. He's up to something today.

I couldn't really do much to prepare for what that Mafia Boss undoubtedly has in store for me, it could be anything! So why not explore Mafia Town until my eventual suffering?

I didn't have anything story-wise to do since Harriet was still chasing that crazy glasses wearing goon way, **way** up above, so I just walked in the rain. The rain doesn't really bother me much because I happen to like water. If our bodies are 80% water, being afraid of it is like being afraid of yourself! No offense to anyone who has hydrophobia.

I walked quite a bit until I saw a strange man. He had a Hawaiian shirt and shorts on, just looking over the bridge and flashing his camera.

He was from the game. I've seen him a little from videos.

Other than that, I knew next to nothing about this character other than that he's just in the game. As you can tell, I was probably gonna have a weird time with this guy like most things on this planet.

I calmly walked to the tourist and leaned my body on the arch of the bridge that we were standing on.

"Darn seagull, dirty little camera thief." I heard him murmur to himself when I approached him. He decided to take full advantage of my arrival.

"Hey, kid. Can I ask you to get my camera back? That dirty seagull took it when I was taking pictures of this island." I turned to where he pointed to see sure enough a seagull with a cheap tourist camera strapped around its neck.

"Why don't you just go get another camera?" I asked.

"I stayed here waiting for the dumb bird to drop the camera all day and I'm not budging anytime soon. I've gone too long to quit now." He said with nothing but determination in his eyes. I decided to help him out of a combination of pity, being dumb and being too nice to say no.

I climbed onto the arch of the bridge and enacted another of my 'brilliant' plans as I leaped towards the seagull. My general thought process during that time was by how experience, you can't simply catch a bird by running up to it, you have to either sneak or catch it in surprise. You can tell what option I chose. The seagull dropped the camera as soon as it saw me leap from the bridge and flew away.

I crashed into the water after managing to grab the camera. I actually thought it wouldn't work, but I guess luck runs to my favor sometimes. I gave the tourist his camera back

"Thank you so much! I promise that I won't make the same mista…" The same seagull from before came out of nowhere and snatched the camera from the tourist. We stood there in silence until I said, "You're welcome."

I took my leave and didn't look back.

* * *

I spotted Hat Kid wandering about through town, so I decided to say 'hi'. I then heard a voice from behind me.

"Are you interested in my wares today?" The voice asked. I jumped back, bumping into Hat Kid in the process. I now saw that the voice belonged to the ever strange Badge Seller.

"Dear gosh! Are you going to be doing that a lot?" Hat Kid walked up to me and the badge seller.

"I believe that I may have something of interest for you." He said.

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing that I'm really needing right now, so-" The Seller pulled out a crystal out of his cloak. The same kind of purple crystal from the cave.

" **I'LL BUY YOUR ENTIRE STOCK!** " I shouted.

"Do you have the required 500 pons?" I stared at Hat Kid, who shook her head quickly and pulling out her empty pockets.

I pointed my finger at the Seller. "I'll be back, I guarantee you of that." I promised as I walked back. I needed to figure out a way to get pons, and quickly.

It was when I was trying to figure out a money scheme when Messenger Mafia came to me with a message. He pulled out a scribe and began to read from it.  
"Boss says that he needs boy to come to hideout immediately!"

* * *

I slowly opened the door and hesitantly walked in.

"Hello?" The Mafia Boss was sitting up upon his throne in his usual arrogant manner, his legs on the left chair arm and his back to the right arm. In the center of the room were four colored safes.

"Janitor! Take these safes away! We lost the codes for them and now they're dead weight." He grumbled. I tried to lift one of the safes up, only to have it nudge up about an inch before I lost my strength.

"How do you think I'm going to carry these?! I'm literally the least qualified person to do this job!" I shouted in between breaths.

"I know. That's why you're doing this. Don't think I've forgotten about your friend." He coldly spat. Now I can see why Mustache Girl wants this guy dead.

"I'm telling you! I don't know Mustache Girl, she's practically a myth to me." The Boss's response was a quick gruff and bah as he stayed silent. Figuring that it was no use to try to keep talking to a literal brick wall, I began to push the safes. I don't know how long it took, but by the time I got the safes out of the treasure room, the sun was high up in the sky. If I had to guess, maybe noon?

Taking a breather, I sat next to the red safe. That was when one of the Mafia members walked right to me and asked: "Mafia see that scrawny boy is struggling with safes, does boy need help?"

I just sat there, surprised. "…Sure! I mean, if it's no trouble for you."

"Mafia doesn't mind. Mafia bench-presses much heavier than these." The goon proved this point by stacking all the safes on top of one another with a single arm. When we got outside and back to Mafia Town, I gave my thanks and he went on his way. Good to see that some members of the Mafia are better once you get to know them.

"Do you know what exactly is in these safes?

"If Mafia remembers correctly, and Mafia usually does, lots of pons are in safes." A lightbulb lit up in my mind. All I have to do is open these safes and I'll have enough to buy those crystals! Sounds like a plot device, but why question good luck?

Now's the question on how to open these safes. I could look around for hours for those tickets that may be long gone by now, or try to open these safes by myself. The first way sounds easier, but I'm stubborn.

I tried breaking open the combination lock with a rock, that lead to nowhere since I hardly had the muscle required.

My second plan involved the rock in a different way. I found one of those crows hopping around and I threw the rock. It smacked onto the crow as I dove into my hiding place. As the crow turned around, the only thing that it saw was the red safe. It wobbled over to the safe and cawed at it. Soon a whole mob gathered the safe and began to peck at the safe. Everything was going according to plan!

I didn't plan for what came after. The crows began to fly, taking the safe with them.

"Wait, wait, wait wait!" I cried, but it was too late. That's when I learned two things that day: Never involve crows in _**any**_ plan. Ever. And that those said crows can apparently fly even though they look like bowling balls. No biggie, I still have 3 more safes left.

Now this plan is going to work.

I noticed that these cannons were scattered all around the island. I just put a safe in one of these cannons and gravity will do the hard work. Luckily the cannon had a large enough hole for the blue safe, a good sign so far! The cannon fired, sending the safe flying up to the sky. My aim may have been a bit off because the green safe is now somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. A bit worrying, but still got two safes.

 **Plan 4:** Let a Mafia goon break open the safe. I did not take into account that particular Mafia throwing the safe through the sky.

I didn't learn from last time. I couldn't even see where the blue safe landed, that's how far it flew. I now only have one safe, so I got to find a foolproof way to crack this safe! Crack, that's it!

I kneeled next to the lock of the golden safe and began to shift the dial. I didn't really know how to crack a safe, but this is the only idea that I have that won't end up with a lost safe and a lost chance.

"Whatcha' doing?" Someone asked from behind me. That someone being Mustache Girl, along with Hat Kid tagging along.

"Oh, hey! I'm just here trying to unlock this safe that the boss gave to me. I figure that there has to be something in it." I stated.

"Hey, I've seen those around the island! Weren't there four safes around here?" Mustache Girl questioned.

"Were there? Because I just only got the one, that's strange, don't you think that's strange?" I stammered. They do not need to know my blunders.

"I've been trying to open this safe all day and nothing. It's just-"

"All we have to do is find all those tickets around here to open it." I turned and saw those tickets fluttering in some pretty dangerous and high places. That was when I decided that I wasn't going to do risk my neck more than I needed to.

"I'm going to find an easier way because that's how I work!" I began to push the safe towards the edge of the cliff, catching the attention of both girls. With one final kick, the safe fell off the edge.

I expected to hear the 'THUD' when it hit the ground, but I didn't expect to hear the shrieking "SQUAWK" along with it. Everyone stood in both silence and in shock.

"..…I'll go and look for those tickets now….." I said apathetically, walking away without even checking to see if I broke the safe, knowing that with my luck it was probably perfectly fine.

Before I left I heard, "Eww, you can see a bit of the leg if you squint." From Mustache Girl.

* * *

The first ticket was an easy find for me. The ticket was caught between some flags attached on ropes near the edge of the plaza. I stood on my tippy toes and gripped the rope as I reached for the ticket. I ended up leaning to the side, dangling off the rope as a result, though I managed to get hold of the ticket.

I was trying to figure out a way to get back on steady ground and not in the ocean when "it" came. That "it" being the seagull from earlier. I went down exactly like a Tweety cartoon. It pecked one of my fingers off the rope I could see the malice in those soulless eyes. The seagull pecked away another finger. It showed no mercy. Soon there were no more piggies.

I made a point in mind to watch out for that seagull in the future. No doubt it would be one of the worst enemies in the game.

I saw another ticket flutter around a small boat that floated by the edge of the island. I've heard about a boat being owned by the Mafia, but never got the chance to see it until now. There happened to be Hat Kid who eyed at the boat nearby.

"So you see it too," I stated.

"I got an idea. You'll know what to do when I act on said plan." I explained as I went down to the small dock. I made an obvious attempt on trying to sneak onboard. That was when Sailor Mafia grabbed me and asked "What is boy thinking on doing? Not just any person can come aboard onto the S.S. None of Your Business or NYB for short."

"Why not? I have the same right as any other Mafia here!" Hat Kid sneaked her way to the roof of the boat and snatched the ticket. She then jumped down and walked into the inside of the boat.

"That does not matter. Surely boy would mess precious NYB up." We both heard the engines roar as the boat sped off from the docks.

"No!" Sailor Mafia began to take chase after the boat. I just waltzed my way out of there, I'd probably stumble across Hat Kid again soon.

The third ticket drifted to another edge of the island, except it was isolated. There were no Mafia goons wandering about or crows cawing at each other. It was just empty. All there was in this corner was a large house full of cracks and wooden boards. I noticed that it wasn't as empty as I thought it was as Mustache Girl stood in front of the house.

I saw that she had a slight frown on her face. Not mad, but more as if somber.

"This used to be my home." Mustache Girl whispered. I remained silent as she continued to look at the building. I don't work well with these kinds of situations.

"This is why I gotta stop the Mafia. If you have the chance to stop evil, you have to take it. Like the bad guys take the chance to be bad. That's what separates us good guys from the bad guys." My foot accidentally knocked over some rocks, scattering them as Mustache Girl turned to the sound. I instinctively hid behind a wall before she could get the chance to spot me. She was just talking to herself.

I then heard, "There's one of those tickets that guy was looking for." Why am I "that guy."? I told her my name before! I went off to find the final ticket somewhere else, hopefully somewhere a bit less personal.

I've been looking all over for the final golden ticket, but no luck so far. These things are either hard to find or I'm just lousy at finding things. I could easily imagine either one.

A golden ticket fluttered past me, catching me off guard for a moment before I took chase.

The ticket was avoiding me like the plague, dodging and weaving out of my reach. I managed to grab it when that annoying seagull had the gull to snatch it out of the air. I swear, it gave me a threatening glare as it tried to tug the ticket out of my reach.

We were at a tug of war, both of us in a standstill. The ticket slipped out of my hands. The seagull tried to fly away. I grabbed it's legs as it dragged my body across the ground from the sudden weight.

"What are you doing?" Mustache Girl asked. Her and Hat Kid gave quick judgmental looks, probably because they saw the whole event unfold in front of their eyes.

"This seagull is being very stubborn right now!" Said seagull immediately let go of the ticket and flew onto Hat Kid's hat, perching upon it.

I would whine about how that was way too easy, but I got what I needed.

"Yes! I've finally done it!" I said way too eagerly as I dialed in the combination. Imagine my disappointment when there was only a time piece sitting inside the safe. No pons what so ever. I just lost focus when my hand reflexively found it's way on my forehead.

Hat Kid was all too eager to grab the time piece as she held it close to her chest.

"That's great and all, but I still have a bit of a money issue." I said.

"Are you kidding? That's a gold safe, it has to be worth something." Mustache Girl explained. I was kind of speechless. I could've avoided an entire afternoon of suffering if I realized that. All I need to do is find the Badge Seller now.

"So you have your payment now?" Someone suddenly said behind me. The voice made me jump back even though I knew who it was.

"Sweet je-, do you need to that all the time?! Yeah, go ahead." I yelled. I couldn't tell what the Badge Seller was feeling beneath that mask, but I'm pretty sure it was amusement. With a swift flick of his cloak, the safe was replaced with a pile of crystals.

"Why'd you need crystals for?" Mustache Girl questioned.

"They might be the only thing that'll keep my sanity here. Plus, they're nice to look at, so there's that." I said. Soon after, everyone left on their different ways, not even questioning my logic.

Surprised that everything went well for me. A little too well. I'll deal with my misfortune later, but now I get my well-deserved rest today.

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed this chapter and see you next time!**

 **Konan720: Eh, no one's perfect. Hope you still enjoyed the story so far.**


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